Sophisticated woman
Sophisticated women are hot. Period. A man
easily melts when he’s around a woman who, along with being able to turn every
head when she arrives at a function, can also capture their intellectual attention
when given the spotlight. Some may choose to call them beauties with brain. But
that would be too cheesy a phrase, especially by a sophisticated woman
standard, and might all together, fail to do justice to their actual personas.
Their sophistication does not stem from a master’s degree or a doctorate, nor
from the bulky textbooks, although women who have these are equally capable, as
any other, for the title. The sophistication actually, buds off of their ability
to comprehend the nuances in a subject matter and easily distinguish each. This
is the thing that drives a man crazy. A man is too distracted to understand all
the little details and when he sees a woman, effortlessly sort a seemingly same
thing from another, his brain wires blow off in a mixture of admiration and self-doubt. However, this article isn’t about these women.
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| Photographer: Carl Ibale |
Tumblr girls
I’m going to put on my gloves, take up my surgery kits, perform a dissection and bring to your notice, dear readers, the makings of a Bhutanese Tumblr girl. What is a Tumblr girl, you ask? In the lines of the American rapper, G-Eazy from his song “Tumblr girls”:
“'Cause I'm in love with these
Tumblr girls, with skinny waists and drug habits
Pretty faces love status, she acts as if she's the baddest”.
If you try to delve a step deeper
into these lines’ meaning, you will realize that you have arrived at a dead
end. Just like you used to do when your high school English teacher made you explain, in a paragraph
(oh my god, the horrors!) what the poet felt when he penned that the sky was
blue. A Tumblr girl aspires to be a sophisticated woman, when all she can actually
be is an annoying, self-centered, narcissistic – ah, I wince every time I say
this word – Instagram influencer. Oh, I forgot, Bhutanese tumblr girls do not use
Tumblr, they are on Instagram. Sorry supplicated ladies, being a man myself, I overlooked
a small nuance right there. Alright, alright it was a noticeable one, but what do you
want me to do? Stop writing? Delete this blog? Huh?
Again, in the profound words of the great G-Eazy:
“She said she can't feel her face”,
which I would rather have changed in the lines of her not feeling her brain.
Right? So there you have it folks, those are our Tumblr girls. Tumblr girls are
pretty and they are so used to the online praises for their beauties that the
mere like and heart reactions on Facebook, won’t do it anymore so they migrate
over to Instagram and embark on the great expedition of amassing the highest number
of followers. And in the spirit of wannabe sophisticated women, which they are
so not, they caption each of their photos such that they want to let the
world know that “they are the baddest”. All hail G-Eazy.
Bhutanese Tumblr Girls Rule 1
You should at least have a bikini
post on your Instagram. If you are reading this and if you are a girl and if
you aspire to be a Tumblr girl, then ask yourself, “Do I have a pair of bikinis?”.
If no, then you better whip out your phone (assuming you’re reading this on
your computer) and start on-line shopping a good pair of bikinis. Because you just
have to. And the rationale behind this rule, I have no clue, none whatsoever.
Bhutanese Tumblr Girls Rule 2
So you’re in a fancy, high-end
restaurant and your order has finally arrived after a gruesome wait, what do
you do? Eat? No stupid, you take a photo of the meal. And mind you, you have to
hold your phone straight, parallel to the table. Because if you do not have a
photo of a meal in an expensive restaurant, you cannot cross the bar for the
Tumblr girls.
Bhutanese Tumblr Girls Rule 3
Where’s your party post? A Tumblr
girl must have a mirror selfie of herself with a group of other tumblr girls in
the rest room of a party hall. Because if she doesn’t, she’s too country to be
of the prestigious group. In the selfie, she should have a slightly tilted head
and her lips should be unnaturally curled to give an 80’s Rockstar expression. And
just in case you are not aware, the parties must either be Viva City or Space in
Thimphu. No other parties allowed. Period.
Bhutanese Tumblr Girls Rule 4
Whether you read or not, you have
to have one book post. You should have a photo of a book near your laptop (if
it’s an apple, “Griffindor, ten extra points”) and your phone (Hmm, how will
you take the photo then? Well, you should have an extra phone, which should
have been a rule actually, but never mind). And the caption in such posts
should be something in line of the book being your companion and ridding of you
the need for a man in your life.
Bhutanese Tumblr Girls Rule 5
A winter/fall post. This post
should show off your winter overalls and those leather boots you could have worn had you had a horse. Don’t forget
your muffler though. And a summer post. Tank tops, denim shorts, and your sneakers.
If you have these, then you’ll have a solid summer post.
Bhutanese Tumblr Girls Rule 6
This one applies if you’re working
abroad especially in Australia. Never, never ever post anything that has to do with
you labouring. Just show the brighter side of the coin. Like having a cold one
or going to the movies. Simple.
Bhutanese Tumblr Girls Rule 7
You just keep on repeating these rules
and congratulations, you are officially a Bhutanese Tumblr girl now. And one
final note, don’t forget to post about every single moment of your day in your
stories so the whole world knows how sophisticated wannabe you are. *Wink.
Stay tuned dear readers. Part two will be on understanding the makings of a Wechat aunty.
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